2014年3月21日星期五

The script revision

I have attend the language session this Wednesday. I ask Stephen(tutor) to correct my grammar mistakes. After this tutorial, I realise one mistake could change the meaning of the sentence. Following is the native English script.



          INT. SOPHIA'S BEDROOM DAY

          Words on invitation card:

          My dear friend Sophia,

          Our wedding will be held in 11th September 2014. We sould be
          delighted if you could join us!

          Ann & John.

          Sophia holds the card. She scowls and looks to other side
          thinking something.

          EXT. TO INT. SKY TO BEDROOM DAY
                    Rumble

          Visual effects: A flash of lightning hits Ann's head.(The
          frame is from clouds dropping through the roof to her eyes.
          Then the frame cuts to black.

                              ANN
                    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

          CU Side Face:She opens her eyes.

          MS Front: She sits up in bed and pants for breath. Her hands
          touch her face, nose, everything is fine. She calms down.
                    Bangbangbang...(Door knocking)

                              LOTTE
                    Ann.. Ann.. Are you ok?
                    Bangbangbang...(Door knocking)

          LS:Ann puts on her slippers and goes to open the door. At
          the same time, the camera focuses on the photo on the wall
          that shows John kissed Ann's hand.

          Ann opens the door, her hair is matted with sweat.

          Ann looks at Lotte. Her mouth is moving, but Ann cannot hear
          Lotte's voice, it is distorted.

          Visual effects: An image appears in front of Lotte's heart.
          The frame illustrates the breakfast on the table

          Ann closes her eyes and shakes her head. When she opens her
          eyes, the image is still there.

          Lotte waves her hands in front of Ann's eyes. She is
          wondering why Ann is not answering at all.

                              ANN
                    No...no...yeah... OK..OK.

          Ann closes her door, she turns back and looks at the lens in
          wide-eyed excitement.

          Ann sent a text to John
                    Come to my house right now! I have
                    an important thing to tell you!

          INT. KITCHEN DAY

          Ann is having breakfast. Lotte is washing dishes.
                         Door bell rings

          Lotte looks at Ann, and goes to open the door.(Lotte is in
          an her nightdress)

          John stands outside. Lotte is staring while whispering.

                              LOTTE
                    Why are you coming here?

                              ANN
                    Baby.

          Ann stands far behind them.

          Lotte turns back, face to Ann. They stand side by side.

          Visual effects: John's heart shows Lotte is kissing his
          face. And Lotte's heart illustrates John is kissing her
          face.

          Ann's eyes are dull.

                              JOHN
                    Baby..Ann..Ann...

          Ann walks forward bumps into Lotte and John and runs away.

                              LOTTE
                    Ann.. Ann..

         

          EXT. STREET DAY

          Ann walks on the street. She wipes teardrops. She sends a
          message to Sophia

          Ann: Where are you?

          Sophia: Home.

          EXT. OUTSIDE SOPHIA'S FLAT AFTERNOON
                    Ring...(Door Bell)

          Ann presses the bell button.

          Sophia opens the door

          Ann hugs Sophia and cries.

                              SOPHIA
                    What's wrong with you?

          Sophia pats Ann's back. Then Sophia holds Ann by the
          shoulders and looks her in the eyes

                              ANN
                    John is a liar.

          Sophia's bows her head. Her left hand play with the handle
          of door and constantly swirl it.

          Visual effects: Sophia's  heart shows she saw John and Lotte
          arm in arm on the street.

          Ann's eyes are frightened. She shakes her heads slowly,
          while walking backwards and shouting:
                    Why don't you tell me the truth?!

          She runs away.

          EXT. STREET NIGHTFALL

          Ann walks towards the shop windows and sees her reflection.
             

          Visual effects: She can clearly see her heart broken into
          pieces and being blown away by wind. she wipes her tear and
          walks.

          Ann stands on half way across the road, the traffic lights
          turns red. Everyone brush against her, everyone's heart is
          revealed. Everyone's voice is distorted. It is loud and
          noisy. She cannot endure, she tips her head back and roars.
          She roars. Her voice echoes through the night.(the frame
          zooms out from her head backwards to sky).

          End.

         

         

         

                             

                             


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